Black Hole

Yeah it's been a long time since I last updated. Not that I purposely neglected this space, I've been rushing around getting ready for Halloween at work. In a blink of an eye, the event is already about to commence this week. ��

Honestly, I'm surviving through this journey. Or rather trying to survive. It's all so different now. I don't look forward to it anymore. I realize that my sense of reluctance is escalating as the days go by. I just wanna be back to where I belong.

Secondly, I've been asking myself a series of questions the past month :

Do you want this?
Do you STILL want this?
Are you positive that there is going to be a future?
Is this still going to work out?
Is it worth fighting for?
Is this something worth living for?

I've been second-guessing myself, holding on to what I have left. I just don't know what to feel anymore. I feel hurt, though I've been doing a great deal of hurting. It's like there's a black hole within me sucking up everything as I walk past, leaving nothing behind. I feel like everyone flees whenever I appear. I feel lonely.